Get Real!

Defeated

When say that I had the most wonderful day today, I am being sincere.  Woke up positive, got out walking on a glorious sunny Saturday, tried a new Russian restaurant for lunch, window shopped, spoke at length with the lovely Svetlana of Svetlana Herbs – and got some great heath advice, on to the gym, after dinner cupcake treats for myself and a friend, then cooked a delicious dinner.  All the way home I interacted with so many positive, funny and just plain wonderful people on the street.  I even got an offer for a free ticket to a rock concert by some kids who had an extra.  How much fun is that?  My day was full of flavor. 

Then I sat down with my computer and checked email. 

At this moment, I feel defeated and simply want to give up.  It doesn’t bother me so much to have my work critiqued or analyzed.  I welcome that.  It would be ridiculous to say that I know everything and there is nothing else to learn.  But when a person whose project you’ve thrown your heart and soul into and at your own expense because you believe in the potential of the work, the idea, the long-term value, or whatever you want to label it, has nothing but criticism, is inflexible, and is absolutely ungrateful, I just feel like giving up.  I think a closer description would be “useless”  or “wasting my time” or “fighting a losing battle”  or “talking to a brick wall.”  All of those apply.

Sometimes, you just have to let go.  In fact I am.  At this moment, even at the detriment of my professional life, I have to consider my happiness and health.  There are just some people who wear you out and I have reached my breaking point.  I am walking away.  Nicely.  Professionally.  But absolutely.

I always aim to please.  Try to do the right thing in every situation and with every person.  I often make mistakes which I immediately acknowledge and correct.  However, when the right thing, the right solution and good or great work isn’t enough, I realize, I can go no further.

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