Get Real!

I’m Two and I’m Supreme!

I’m guilty.  Yes, I admit it.

I have lately become absolutely obsessively fascinated with the show Toddlers and Tiaras.  Ever since the Jon Benet days when the whole baby pageant mini drama became more visible to the public, I’ve often wondered what these kids actually do and why their parents force them to do it tired, cranky and under stress to be perfect; pushed by overzealous moms and dads too, who get downright vicious when these kids don’t want to obsess for hours getting dressed up like perfect little dolls, sit still while heavy duty foundation, eye shadow, blush and lipstick gets applied.  And let’s not forget the perfect French manicure.  And everyone’s been talking about Ballet mothers.  Not even close to this ruthless display.

Because there is no better viewing pleasure than watching a two year old in makeup, wigs and glitter complete with fake boobs stuffed into her costume and hair-sprayed like a glue stick –  take a tantrum 2 feet from a pageant stage.

What does the ” total beauty package” get you anyway?  Apparently a really big crown a Miss Ultimate Tiny Tot or Supreme Queen title, some cash and a possible talent agent somewhere in the middle of Kentucky.

“Miss Paisly is 2 years old, enjoys gymnastics and tap dancing.  This lovely little girl just takes control  as she elegantly sweeps across the stage in her outfit of choice, blowing kisses to the judges.  But more than anything else, Paisly wants to be Miss Universe, be the President of the United States and win an academy award, all before she is twenty.  Because she’ll be too old after that.”

“I’m supreme!” Paisly says as she, all of 36 inches stands next to her 57 inch trophy.

These kids are just waiting to get their Betty (Davis) on...Whatever happened to Baby Jane?


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